The proverbial straw has arrived

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Amanda
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The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Sun Jul 16, 2017 5:53 pm

I am going to be looking in earnest for a new home for Zeke probably starting sometime this week. DH and I had a fight last night and it all came out that he just can't deal with the dog anymore. It's not Zeke's fault, but I am married to a man that is, at best, a dog tolerater. We had an incident yesterday that while nothing bad happened, DH mismanaged Zeke (in my opinion) and he feels very strongly that if it takes this much effort to protect people in our home, he isn't willing to put in the effort. Zeke annoys him to no end with a myriad of complaints, many of which are inherent to Z's temperament. Anyway, basically what it came down to was that Zeke has zero marks in the pro vs con list on the positive side for DH. And if he is interefering with my marriage in addition to all his other issues, I now have more marks in the con column. It's not fair for Zeke to live in a house where he isn't wanted by one, and is somewhat uncomfortable with three kids that live here. He deserves a home where he can be adored and all his needs are met. I love him a lot. There is still a lot I like about him. And if it were only me, there's no way he'd be going anywhere. But it's not. I am feeling pretty raw over the whole thing. It was probably one of the bigger fights we have ever had and while we both apologized for our errors about the whole situation, I am still feeling hurt on top of now dealing with truly needing to place Z. So... if you have any ideas on where/how to proceed, I'd love any suggestions. My only idea right now is to make a Facebook page or blog just for him with photos and highlight videos of his strengths and fun tricks, etc. He really is a highly trained dog with many skills. Anyway... thanks for reading and always supporting us.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby maxs_mommy » Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:18 pm

I'm sorry this happened and it's miserable for everyone. Is there a Vizsla rescue or breed club to reach out to for rehoming?
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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby emmas_mom » Tue Jul 18, 2017 8:03 am

I'm sorry, Amanda. Balancing human family needs/relationships with our canine ones can be challenging at best, and destructive to all at worst. I hope some of the local rescues will offer to do a courtesy post on their pages, as well as any Vizsla rescues and breed clubs in your state or nearby ones. May you find the right forever home for Zeke. Don't forget to ask your vet and other dog businesses if they will put up a poster in their offices and/or if they know of anyone.
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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Sabine » Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:48 pm

I'm so very sorry, Amanda. This is just heartbreaking. Zeke is such a cool dog.
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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby JudyL » Tue Jul 18, 2017 3:41 pm

What a shame for all of you. I hope that you'll soon find a home or rescue that you and Zeke are both comfortable with.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Tue Jul 18, 2017 5:27 pm

It is a terrible shame, but Zeke will be happier in the long run if I can find him the right place. I know he loves me, but he will love someone else just as much or more. And when I really evaluate things, his needs affect so much of what I try to do that he is a burden more than an enhancement to our family. I think in a home where he can truly decompress from his anxieties he will blossom elsewhere. He just never quite gets back to ground zero on his arousal because having kids near him is a strain.

J and I had a long talk yesterday and he sincerely apologized for the way he spoke to me. He admitted he should have approached it better and he was sorry for hurting me like that. So we are good. And I probably wasn't exactly fair in calling him only tolerant of dogs. He does like them in general. He just is done with the stress all of this has caused to me and our household. He was done with it a long time ago but tried to hide it for my sake and it ended up blowing up. So I give him credit for trying to suck it up for so long.

Truth be told, I am relieved to be at this point in the decision process. There is nothing else to try. I am not a quitter and I have been hanging onto the tiniest fragments of hope for a long time. But now I think I can rest knowing I truly did all I could and more. This just wasn't meant to be.
Last edited by Amanda on Wed Jul 19, 2017 12:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby UpwardDog » Tue Jul 18, 2017 11:31 pm

I feel for you. I sure hope a good home for him turns up soon. Is there a Viszla rescue group or anyone who would do a courtesy listing? It's hard to find homes for dogs who have special needs :(

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby MaisyPancakes » Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:41 pm

I'm so sorry, Amanda. Your new plan sounds best for everyone—sending lots of good luck and hugs.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby connie » Fri Jul 21, 2017 4:18 pm

I give you major props for being realistic, Amanda. I've shared Zeke's FB page and I'll re-share it periodically. Can you get it circulated by local veterinary clincs and training centers?

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Jen » Sat Jul 22, 2017 6:38 pm

I'm very sorry you're having to make this decision, but I agree kudos for being realistic and doing al that you can do. No one could have done more and few would have done as much.

I don't know anyone on my FB list who's in a position to take on Zeke, but I'll share anyway and share with my NW classmates.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Sun Jul 23, 2017 12:04 am

Thank you all for your shares and words of encouragement. Fortunately no one has been negative at all. I am posting videos of his good side and gosh is it hard to watch how wonderful he can be and keep in mind his vices. It is going to be really hard to let him go. I have had three leads... one bailed today (it was a woman that brought her dogs to meet him and they were ok together, but I think her DH wasn't part of the convo and he said no), a single woman in AZ with no other dogs that sounds promising (13 yo Vizsla passed away several months ago, no kids, owns her home, hiker/runner, interest in trying agility/sports), and a guy on 15 acres in Wisconsin which is a bit of a stretch, but not impossible. Trying not to hang hopes on anything until it's final as I see these things fall through often. But three leads in a couple days is far more than I got before when he was posted on a rescue site for like 2 weeks. I think the Facebook page is helping tremendously. I have been sharing in lots of groups, many of you have shared more than once, and my posts have been seen by over 1000 people which is kind of crazy. My instagram posts have been viewed by a lot more than I expected also. So it will happen... just need to not have a nervous breakdown in the meantime.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Sabine » Sun Jul 23, 2017 12:18 pm

I'm continuing to keep my fingers crossed, hoping there will be a perfect outcome for him - like for Sadie!
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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby connie » Mon Jul 24, 2017 5:16 am

I have it on my to-do list every week to re-post his page -- he's not likely to end up in Chicago, but through rescue and dog sports, I have FB friends all over, so who knows!
Amanda, do you have an adoption contract you are using? Once you settle on a place for him, IMO it's important to have a contract with terms detailed. The Sheltie rescue I worked for has a good one, you could copy it if you need to, changing it where necessary to suit your situation:
http://www.illinoissheltierescue.com/adoptcontract.html

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:56 pm

That is perfect Connie, thank you. I did plan to use a contract, just haven't put one together yet.

A promising lead dropped today. There is a guy in WI that wants him but I am afraid sending him that far will be traumatic travel for him. Got another new lead closer to home that sounds good so far.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Tue Jul 25, 2017 7:36 pm

Meeting a promising potential new home tomorrow. Same training philosophy, same vaccine philosophy, other dog hypothyroid so she's familiar, owned a weimie and two V's before, retired active woman in her 60s. Please cross fingers and paws and send those magic ODO vibes that this works out.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:02 pm

Whoa, Connie... there is some seriously heavy language in that adoption contract about taking back dogs for any reason whatsoever, etc... I get it for a rescue who probably sees crappy people a lot, but I am wondering if that stuff might scare off a good person? Should I be worried about all that? Also trying to figure out how to word things to make sure I am not liable once ownership transfers.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby emmas_mom » Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:52 pm

Fingers crossed that the potential new home you are meeting Weds will be the right new home, Amanda, and that you will feel very sure this is the right person for Zeke and the right dog for the person.
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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Wed Jul 26, 2017 3:05 pm

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Things went very well today. Zeke will be going for a trial stay next week and if things go well, he will stay with her. I don't foresee anything that would prevent him from staying there. She is a sweet woman. He loved her from the get go and she seems to adore him too. He got along just fine with the resident female bloodhound. Her home is on a peaceful cul de sac. We both took some big sighs of relaxation there. I think he can really decompress without the constant traffic and busyness of a house with kids. She found a training facility near her that does agility and she wants to take him there. It's not a competition type place, but that's just perfect. She is going through some hard times with some life adjustments and it may just be that Zeke rescues her as much and she is rescuing him. So when she gets back from her weekend trip she is going to come pick him up and we will visit him about a week later to finalize it all. I am both hopeful and devastated. It's a weird mix of emotions.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby connie » Wed Jul 26, 2017 3:17 pm

Oh, I have my fingers crossed that she and Zeke are the real deal!

The contract -- oh gosh no, you wouldn't use some of the heavy-hitting rescue language -- I just posted the link so you could do a c&p if you wanted any of it. You could put in language that she has to NOTIFY you if she does not keep him; you can stipulate that she can only place him with a rescue or a no-kill shelter, etc. You don't have to be the place he goes if anything goes wrong, that's definitely rescue-specific. And definitely don't enumerate the bad things as if you expect the adopter to do any or all of them. Natalie wrote that and she is more than a little unhinged, bless her heart. (She once asked the rescue advisory group if she should drive to Iowa and revoke an adoption because the home sent her a photo, SEVEN YEARS AFTER ADOPTION, of the Sheltie on the front lawn without a leash. Yeah, seriously. Natalie's got issues.)

You do want to specify what you expect, which is that he won't be fed Ol' Roy and he will be given heartworm preventive if he goes to an area where heartworm is an issue, etc. My hot-button is that the adopter has to guarantee to do an annual vet exam with heartworm and tick disease test. You would never enforce it in court, but it puts the concerns in front of the adopter and is a good way to discuss them.

(Another Sheltie rescue group I worked with DID take an adopter to court over the contract: the home didn't keep the Sheltie on heartworm preventive, the Sheltie got heartworm, the rescue found out, revoked the adoption, took the dog back and treated the heartworm successfully -- then went to court and sued the adopter for the cost of the heartworm treatment, which was over $500. The rescue group won. A good contract is a good thing for the dog. LOL!)

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby connie » Wed Jul 26, 2017 3:38 pm

How about this:

This Agreement is made and hereby entered into on _________________________________by and between ___________________________________________ and ________________________________ (hereafter referred to as “Adopter”).
The dog described below may hereafter be referred to as the “Dog" or (Name). The purpose of this contract is to ensure that adopter provides the Dog with the best possible care and treatment throughout its lifetime.
Name: _____________________ Weight: _______
Breed: ______________ Sex: ________(altered)
Color _____________________ Age: _________
Micro Chip: ___________________ DOB: _________

In consideration of a donation of $ ______ , (name) agrees to allow Adopter to take ownership of this Dog according to the terms set forth in this contract. (Name) warrants that as of the Agreement date and to the best of its knowledge the Dog Is current on all shots (for age), altered, heartworm negative, wormed, micro-chipped, and is in good health, and free of any diseases.

ADOPTER UNDERSTANDS THIS IS A BINDING CONTRACT, AND AGREES TO ABIDE BY THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF ADOPTION

Adopter has taken physical possession of the Dog and from the date stated on this contract, is responsible and liable for all requirements and actions of the Dog, including but not limited to any costs of veterinary care, food, grooming, and housing.

Adopter agrees that ownership and possession of the Dog is not transferable and the Dog will not reside with anyone other than Adopter except for temporary boarding situations as necessary.

If at any time the Adopter can or will no longer keep and care for the Dog, Adopter must notify (name) and must then surrender the Dog to an appropriate rescue or a no-kill shelter.

Adopter agrees to provide the following to ensure a good quality of life for the Dog:
o Dog will not be allowed to run loose or be a nuisance or danger to itself or the community at any time;
o Dog will receive appropriate veterinary care as needed, and will be examined no less than annually by a DVM, at which time Dog will be tested for heartworm and tick-borne illnesses, and treated for such should the tests identify those diseases;
o Dog will wear identification at all times in the form of a collar tag or contact information on a collar; the information will be current and the Adopter will register the Dog’s microchip with the name of the Adopter’s veterinary clinic;
o Dog will be licensed according to any local ordinances;
o Adopter will provide Dog with a wholesome, premium dog food, and have fresh water available at all times.

Further, the Adopter agrees that the Dog’s known background and medical history have been discussed with her and are known to her prior to this Adoption.

I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS ENTIRE AGREEMENT, AND DO HEREBY AGREE TO ALL THE ABOVE TERMS.


Name:


Address:

City: State: Zip:


Phone: (H) (W) (C)



Adopter’s Signature: Date:

Prior Owner Signature: _________________________________________________ Date_________________________

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Thu Jul 27, 2017 11:26 pm

Thank you, Connie!

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:49 pm

Zeke is leaving for a trial stay with this woman on Saturday. If things go well, he will stay there and not come home. Do I have her sign the contract as if she is officially taking him? Do I have her sign it with a clause or something stating that for the first 30 days either of us can terminate the contract? I want her to sign something before she takes him out of my hands. Even if she hasn't "officially" adopted him.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby connie » Fri Aug 04, 2017 5:07 am

I would have her sign, and add a part at the bottom that states she is taking him as of 8/5/17 and will have 30 days to determine if she wants to finalize the adoption.

How about this:

The adopter will take possession of Dog on August 5, 2017, and may, on or before September 5, 2017, send written notice to (Amanda's name) that she will adopt the Dog. Upon that notice, this contract becomes legal and binding, and the adoption donation/fee is due. Should Adopter not choose to adopt the Dog within 30 days of the date she has taken possession of the Dog, she will return the Dog to (Amanda's name) before September ____, 2017. and no fees will apply.

Signed -- both parties sign here.

The 'written notice' can be an e-mail or a text message, anything you can print out and file with the signed contract.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby JudyL » Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:28 am

From a legal standpoint, I think it would be better to have the adoption finalized now with the added provision that new owner has the 30 days to legally reverse the adoption. That puts all risk in her hands, should the dog bite or otherwise cause someone harm, or if he gets hurt while in her possession and requires expensive veterinary care.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby connie » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:39 am

Okay, then this, added to the earlier contract wording:

The adopter will take possession of Dog on August 5, 2017, on which date this contract becomes effective.

Notwithstanding the adoption indicated by this contract, the adopter may, on or before September 5, 2017, send written notice to (Amanda's name) that she wishes to reverse the adoption of the Dog. In the event of an adoption reversal, the adopter must return the Dog to (Amanda's name) before September ____, 2017. and any fees paid by the adopter will be refunded in full.

(Amanda's name) has the right, before September 5, 2017, to reverse this adoption, and to do so must notify the adopter in writing of that reversal. If (Amanda's name) reverses the adoption, the re-possession of the Dog is up to (Amanda's name) to effect, and any fees paid by the adopter will be refunded in full.

Of the adoption fee/donation, 50% is due on August 5, 2017 and the balance is due on September __, 2017, unless the adoption is reversed by either party before that date.

Signed -- both parties sign here.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:47 pm

Thank you so much for your input. I have gotten mixed information on what to charge for this adoption. I don't want money really. I just want him to have a good home. I am super awkward about money in general and don't want to put her off. We haven't discussed any money changing hands. I have had a couple people tell me they don't charge anything for personal dogs they have rehomed. That is the way I am leaning, but I also don't want to be naive about it all. One lady said she would charge $400 since he is fully vetted and has so much training. What would you guys do?

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Riddick » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:14 pm

What about suggesting she make a donation to her local animal shelter?
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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby emmas_mom » Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:18 am

When I have assisted with rehoming people's dogs outside of a rescue, and they have been reluctant to charge a fee, I've suggested they request a donation be made to a rescue (usually a specific rescue that I know to be reputable - a breed rescue of the dog's breed, or a local rescue/shelter). You could say something like "We haven't discussed money, and I don't want anything for him but a loving and suitable home, but I would appreciate it if you'd consider a donation in his name to such-and-such a rescue".
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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby connie » Sat Aug 05, 2017 8:25 am

Amanda, that's why I put fee/donation in the wording.

You can request a donation in an amount over a certain amount ($50? $100?) but otherwise up to the adopter, and if you give her a choice of several rescues or shelters that you support, I suggest you make sure they are all 501(c)3 organizations, that way she can take the donation as a tax deduction -- a very welcome thing.

In my consulting business there are a couple of brokers who I do work for but not enough to chase them for payment, so I have requested they make a donation to a local shelter in payment for my work. They think it's a great idea; the shelter gets the full amount of the donation (whereas I have to pay taxes out of it if it's income to me) and they get a tax deduction.

Maybe consider that.

And PS: the rescue person in me screams NOOOOOO at the idea of giving a dog away with no fee or donation. It might not apply in your situation, but people who pick up dogs for $0 are not people I want to have dogs, in general. Make this a transaction that involves payment of some kind, is my suggestion, and a donation is a great solution.

Have her make the check out to the rescue or shelter but give it to you, you hold it for 30 days so you can return it to her if Z comes back to you for any reason.

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Re: The proverbial straw has arrived

Postby Amanda » Sat Aug 05, 2017 8:45 pm

He left this afternoon. I'm pretty gutted. My hubby has been amazing. Took care of the kids all day so I could go for a last hike with Zeke and just get everything ready for him. He made a great dinner, too.

Zeke will be spending this week at her home with her other dog, Pearl. And then she is taking him up to her cabin on Friday by himself so they can get to know one another and bond. He was very reluctant to leave with her. He jumped up on me in a bear hug and I had to push him down and walk him out with her. His tail was tucked and he kept pulling back to me. Such a hard goodbye. But their drive home was easy and she said he ate all his dinner. They all sat on the porch after dinner and he just took in all the sounds and smells of her neighborhood. He will get his own cushy bed on the porch soon.

It helps to see him settled. But it's super hard for me to realize he isn't here anymore and won't be back. The house feels too quiet. I am hopeful he will settle in well with her and she will be happy with him too. Just hanging onto the fact that her house is so calm compared to mine and he can really relax.
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