Thank you, Jean. I had heard about their needing to hear that it is OK for her to go on, that I will be OK. I've been telling her every damn day in every way I know how. I've sent her pictures (from my head) of me having a grand old time all by myself in a field, eating screams and pizza.
My bestie tried to instill some confidence back in me that I will KNOW, too—that she will start slipping away, she will cross a line I did not know existed, and she will just be way ahead of me. I need to be able to trust myself to know, and remind myself how completely bonded we are, that I better effing know if she is ready to Pancake frisbee away into the sky. These last days, I felt like she was supposed to be ready, but I couldn't see it, so it seemed like it was my inability to know. I truly hope I will know.
My poor, wonderful vet and I are basically touching base hour by hour. We will be checking in all day, just in case.
Thank you all, for all the good thoughts. It is a matter of time, but right now at this very moment I just can't push her away.