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My boys are gone...

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 2:00 pm
by Riddick
Hi there, I know I don't post very often, but I lurk A LOT. I lost both Apollo and Orion in 2016, and I'm just now starting to be able to say their names with out falling apart...

Apollo we lost March 2, 2016. He was a Rott/Shepherd mix, he was 16 years old. He had starting having seizures out of the blue the year before, but thankfully they were controlled with medication. Then he started losing control of his back legs and we found out he had a tumor compressing his spinal cord that was causing him such intense pain it was skyrocketing his resting heart rate to 240. We had 4 good months to spoil him, love him, and prepare ourselves to lose him. When he finally couldn't stand up anymore, and the daily pain injections stopped working we helped him pass so he wouldn't suffer. It was so peaceful and so full of love and tears and sadness of losing a child that we had had for 16 years. It was so hard to say goodbye to Apollo, but he was ready. He had a fabulous life full of nothing but love and kindness. We miss him so much, but we are at peace knowing he had 16 amazing years on this earth.

Orion on the other hand, Orion was stolen from me. Taken way too soon. Orion was my heart dog, my soulmate, the love of my life. He was a German Shepherd, only 10 years old. Cancer took Orion only 23 days after he was diagnosed. He was completely fine one day, and then dying the next day. I had no time to prepare myself to lose my son. He got so sick so fast, and then that was it. On August 3rd 2016 Orion woke up very stiff and painful in his hips, and refused breakfast. I had been planning on taking him to a chiropractor anyway, so for him to be in so much pain he skipped a meal was the wake up call he needed to go in immediately. I took him in to his normal vet the same day to have x-rays of his hips done so the chiropractor could see his problem areas. The vet took him in back for x-rays and when she returned she said, "yeah his hips are in bad shape, but I'm more worried about this giant tumor on his spleen." I said WHAT TUMOR!?!? It was in that moment that my world fell apart. We discovered Orion had a melon size tumor on his spleen. We immediately started other testing to figure out what the heck this thing was and where it came from. Bloodwork showed he was so anemic that he was 2 points away from needing a blood transfusion, and he had a fever of 105. The vet suspected something called hemangiosarcoma, she took a syringe and pulled frank blood out of his abdominal cavity. That confirmed the spleen cancer, Orion was bleeding out internally. He was dying. We did a abdominal ultrasound and some other tests to see if Orion was a candidate for surgery. We discovered tumors on his liver and kidney as well. It had spread, Orion was terminal. On August 26th 2016 his spleen tumor ruptured and he bleed out internally. He held on as hard as he could for me, but I couldn't let him suffer any longer. I put him to rest that night. It completely shattered my soul. I don't know how to function in a world where my Orion doesn't exist. This cancer completely blindsided me, Orion was so healthy and normal, he showed no signs of going anywhere anytime soon. I feel like I'm wading through cement. I can't believe my perfect Orion is gone. I don't think I'll ever be the same.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 4:17 pm
by Sabine
Oh Lyssa... I'm so very, very sorry to hear this. Two tragic losses in such a short time span.

Hemangiosarcoma is what took Quigley from me. Less than 48 hours from finding out anything was gone, and I had to let him go. :(

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 7:12 am
by SherriA
Lyssa, my heart is breaking for you. Losing both of your boys in such a short span is tragic. I'm so very sorry.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 1:18 pm
by emmas_mom
Lyssa, I'm so sorry. Losing two close together, and especially with Orion's being so sudden and unexpected, is hard for the heart to handle.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 3:15 pm
by MaisyPancakes
I am so sorry, Lyssa. My heart aches for your loss. Please try to remember to take care of yourself, too.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 6:11 pm
by JudyL
I'm so very sorry that you lost both handsome boys. Having that happen so close together, and with Orion's without warning must make it that much harder to bear. :sad:

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:47 pm
by whiteboxerboy
I'm so sorry. It's so much more devastating when everything goes wrong so quickly. Losing both in such a short time is insult to injury.

They were gorgeous dogs, clearly you took wonderful care of them. Hemangio is a terrible, horrible beast that has taken far too many dogs with little to no warning. I'm sorry.

I hope you'll take comfort in memories of happy times sharing love with your sweet boys. I know how all consuming the grief can be and there's nothing to do but go through it but I'll pass along to you something's dear friend said to me after I lost Brinca then Uncle Leo: they wouldn't want you to be sad, they will come to visit you, even if you don't see them they'll be there and they'll want to see you happy and enjoying life, just as you were when they were with you. They are happy & pain free at The Bridge.
I know they'll come visit you in your dreams sometime soon and that will be the most wonderful feeling.

Take good care of you,
Lynn.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 4:10 pm
by Amanda
I'm so sorry for your loss, Alyssa. Godspeed to those precious boys and I hope that in time you find peace and comfort for your aching heart.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:17 pm
by LisaT_II
I'm so very sorry. To lose both in the same year is devastating.

Hemangio is also what took my GSD Max away from me. It's a terrible killer :(

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:13 pm
by Riddick
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I can't believe that next week is already a year since Apollo left us, and my Ori has been gone six months...the pain is still so raw. I still cry for them every day. I don't feel like I'm ever going to recover from the loss of Orion, it was such a slap in the face. We fought and cried so hard for weeks wrestling with the decision to euthanize Apollo, and then to be forced to do it again barely 6 months later. I'm sick to my stomach every day...

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 10:54 pm
by Jen
What a tragic set of events. I'm so sorry for your loss. They were both beautiful and well-loved. :(

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 1:44 pm
by Emily
I lost three of mine in 2016, it is so hard. One of those was due to hemangio as well. It is a nasty killer. I am so very sorry for your losses. :frown:

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:16 pm
by PofiMia
Lyssa, I am so deeply sorry. We lost Pofi in October just 6 weeks past his 12th birthday to cancer and I am so mired in my grief... I get it, I really do. Wishing both your beautiful boys sweet dreams and hoping time and your memories bring solace.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 6:06 am
by connie
I just saw this -- I am so very sorry.
A good friend lost her 8-year old Lab mix to hemangio just last week, two weeks after a 'great' annual checkup. It was devastating. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you, Lyssa. Many hugs.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:53 pm
by Riddick
And now we lose another. On March 24th we put our 20 year old Jasper to rest. He was barely 4 pounds and down to 6% kidney function. That's three babies in a little over a year now...please no more...

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:15 am
by SherriA
oh Lyssa, so much sorrow in such a short time. I'm sorry. Jasper was beautiful.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Fri May 05, 2017 11:43 pm
by Riddick
Got this last week...my son is with me forever now...

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 2:29 pm
by SherriA
Beautiful

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Fri May 12, 2017 6:53 pm
by PofiMia
Lyssa, I am so sorry about Jasper. I have a special affection for plushy grey cats.

Your Orion tatt is beautiful! You must be so pleased.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Sat May 13, 2017 11:01 am
by JudyL
I'm sorry about your losing Jasper too. :(
The tattoo of Orion is superb.

Re: My boys are gone...

Posted: Mon May 15, 2017 12:58 pm
by Sabine
Wow, what a wonderful tattoo. Love it!