Dog surrender process

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maxs_mommy
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby maxs_mommy » Tue Jun 23, 2015 5:05 pm

The treatment goal for his itchies is clavamox for two weeks and go from there. I don't know how much progress will be made with the clavamox but I want to give it a chance to work, with benedryl if necessary. MIL is going to work on getting the dogs released. SIL technically owns the dogs and is a neurotic mess so that convo will have to happen with the timing based on SIL's emotional state. *shakes head*. S had a convo with her mom that the dogs need a full portion of dog food, the beans and rice can be extra if BIL wants, so hopefully meds compliance can have some chance of happening.

SIL got the dogs when she was young and single and she did take care of them in the beginning. Then she had kids and nervous breakdowns and actually had to be responsible for something that didn't dote on her exclusively. That's what children do, they don't inflate your ego. She couldn't handle the children, blaming it on everything from postpartum depression (which I don't deny), then panic attacks, then her BC (hence child #3) and now she just can't handle life. So while I don't give a whit about her issues, timing the discussion correctly could make or break the outcome. Logic won't work in this situation. They have less than nothing and suggesting they can't handle something and someone else should just makes them dig in their heels more.

Nana, I didnt' think about the abuse but you're right, it does look bad. I've seen dogs in better shape called abused.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby maxs_mommy » Fri Jul 31, 2015 8:29 pm

So. F-ing. Done. S had a convo with her mom tonight and asked if mom had talked to BIL/SIL about surrendering the dogs to rescue. Apparently, according to BIL the dogs are "old" and it would be better if they died instead of going to rescue so SIL wouldn't worry if they were in a good home. The dogs are 11 & 13 but should have at least another 3-4 years. The other issue is that if one died shortly after going to rescue it would be because they missed SIL, as if she ever does anything with them. I should also mention that we spent 1/2 an hour cleaning matted poop out of Doodles' butt fur and Filbert has open wounds because he's itchy because they ate an entire loaf of bread, not only do they not medically work to clean it up, they won't separate them even though Doodles chews on him too. (So gross) Somebody talk me out of dognapping because I have the resources, motivation and time. I can have them 3 states away before the sun comes up with no remorse.
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Convo about relinquishing the dogs with MIL
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I should mention that the "vet" BIL referenced, vis a vis MIL, is the banfield vet from 2 years ago who said beans and rice was a complete diet.
Max "the ninja"-American Cocker Spaniel G-day 3/2009
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby UpwardDog » Sat Aug 01, 2015 12:13 am

What a nightmare. What about reporting them? Wouldn't that poor dog's condition be enough to seize them? I don't understand why the concern is SIL's feelings when the animals are in such extremely poor shape.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby maxs_mommy » Fri Mar 11, 2016 5:32 pm

So BIL has 100% agreed to release the dogs, SIL doesn't have a choice. MIL basically called them out on the obscene neglect and said that she and FIL would take care of them if BIL/SIL wouldn't. BIL did not take it well and now I'm asked to cash in all the chips and find them somewhere to go. If anyone needs a 13 and 11 y/o shiz/chi mix please let me know. I'm waiting on pictures of them and have a fb dm in to the rescue I do transport for. I'll be trolling this post again for ideas of who to contact.

We're offering to contribute to their care in rescue until they get adopted. How much is a reasonable amount to contribute? The older dog will need a decent amount of medical care up front. Once that's taken care of, they should be generally healthy. I just need an old retired person or couple who wants to dote on them forever.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby Calypso » Sun Mar 13, 2016 7:27 am

Wow. I guess good for the dogs. I hope they're out of their current situation and into a better one soon. I just don't have any ideas. Seriously, I'd be tempted to get them on a transport north with no more information than they came from a "neglect situation". That will sound like a puppy mill rescue and they'll be cool to rescue in Chicago or a New York City suburb. I know in Madison people fall all over themselves to adopt a poor puppy from the wilds of Tennessee. I guess whatever it takes to find them a home.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby JudyL » Sun Mar 13, 2016 9:46 am

I don't have any answers for you, just want to say I'm sorry you are still in the middle of this, Ashley. I'm sorry the dogs are still stuck in the situation too. Thanks for trying to help them move on to a better life.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby JudyL » Sun Mar 13, 2016 12:11 pm

I also wanted to add - maybe you could post this to FB for all of your dog-related friends to see, if you can do it without your family seeing? It would get more attention there since this board doesn't get the immediate attention like it used to.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby emmas_mom » Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:58 pm

Glad to hear they are getting out of that situation, and hopefully you will be able to find a rescue to take them in - or possibly a very carefully screened home via classifieds? Do you have a seniors-for-seniors pet rescue program anywhere near you (rescue groups that specifically market senior rescues to senior adults) - seniors don't necessarily want to take on a younger dog, especially if they know they might need to downsize to an apartment or move into assisted living a few years from now. Also check out 'small dog rescues' in your area - some specialize in rehoming small dogs only. And 'senior dog rescues' - there are now several rescues across the States (and in Canada) that focus on senior dogs only. A transport could likely be arranged to nearby states if necessary.

As for your question about what donation to make if the rescue you've transported for can take them, I think that depends on the amount of vet care they will need. I know the rescues I've worked with always appreciate some contribution towards an incoming dogs' dental care, spay/neuter, and vet checkup including a geri panel for senior dogs. One way to think about this is: the rescue will likely have to reduce their usual adoption fee considerably for dogs of this age, so will have less to offset such costs with. Maybe estimate what the vet bill is likely to be, and pay 1/3 to 1/2 of the cost, figuring that both the rescue and the adopter will be contributing also.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby maxs_mommy » Sun Mar 13, 2016 7:17 pm

So I have two rescue prospects for them, one in St. Louis which is Sr. Dog rescue. I'm hoping to hear back from them this week. I put all the info out to them and got a quick response saying that the dogs sounded like good fits and they appreciate the sponsorship. They put the info to all their foster homes and the foster contacts me. The other option is the rescue I volunteer for but I can't guarantee they will go into foster quickly. The director is willing to see what she can do. I will transport them wherever they need to go and I got the MIL to take current photos yesterday and am working on getting all the medical records/tags and paraphernalia that goes with them. SIL is having surgery later this week so life is hectic but, best case scenario, the dogs will be rehomed to rescue by Easter.

Honestly, getting the dogs into another good home is about so much more than the dogs. SIL/BIL need to move out of S's parent's basement where they've been for almost a year and they qualify for low-income housing but SIL won't do it because they won't accept pets. This would get the dogs into a new situation and be another hole in the argument for SIL's "but we can't move out because..." whining. It will be better for everyone. I will drop a good chunk of cash to cover initial vetting and care but BIL says he'll kick in with his tax refund too (not holding my breath), then make more modest regular contributions at least until the dogs are adopted.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby UpwardDog » Sun Mar 13, 2016 7:34 pm

Oh man, I hope you can find a placement for them.
Fingers crossed they find a great foster and great homes.

Edited to remove the question I didn't see was already answered.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby Jen » Mon Mar 14, 2016 5:06 pm

All digits crossed. Would rescues be more willing to help knowing it's a "we've got to help the people too and dealing with dogs makes it that much harder" situation?

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby maxs_mommy » Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:24 pm

I honestly don't know, Jen. I pretty much said that the owners health was deteriorating and that left the dogs in a rapidly deteriorating neglect situation. I'm waiting for St. Louis to get back with me. If I don't hear from them by the end of the week I'll go talk to my local rescue.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby emmas_mom » Wed Mar 16, 2016 9:21 am

I'm glad you've had an optimistic response from St Louis seniors rescue - here's hoping they come up with a great foster home. As for Jen's question re whether the people situation would help move things along, certainly most rescues take that into account (for example, a senior having to move into a carehome that won't take the dog becomes a high priority). That said, it all depends on whether there is a foster home available.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby maxs_mommy » Thu Mar 17, 2016 8:08 pm

I'm still waiting on STL. Meanwhile, MIL doesn't know why they aren't gone yet. SMH.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby Sabine » Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:29 am

I'm glad to hear there's a light at the end of the tunnel for these poor dogs. All fingers crossed!
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby maxs_mommy » Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:31 pm

So the dogs went to rescue that I do transports for, as many of you may have seen on Facebook. Sunday (Easter, I might add) the dogs were brought to my house. BIL/SIl did not come. The kids whose parents owned Filbert and Doodles did come, though they did not care that they were losing their dogs...as in "didn't even want to say goodbye when asked" didn't care. Part of me was sad, part of me realized the dogs didn't mean anything to them.

Sunday night they went to rescue. Bless the director, she was working a multi-day hoarding case and trying to get a new adoption center up and running at the same time. Today she took both dogs to the vet and I got a facebook message. Filbert's kidneys had completely failed and the vet recommended euthanasia. He had systemic staph infections that would never completely clear. Doodles had been chewing on him and infected puss was leaking everywhere, toe nails curled into his pawpads and he had no hair with skin flaking off in chunks. I asked if he was even palliative and E, the Dir, said her dogs were attacking poor Filbert and he would have to be generally isolated for his own safety. He was 15.

I made the decision to let him go. It just wasn't going to get any better so now he's out of his misery. I know it was the right thing to do. I know it wasn't my fault he got this bad but I also know I gave permission to let him out of his hell. I am heartbroken. I feel like I got him to rescue to have a shot and, because of the years of neglect, he didn't get it. I wish I could have gotten him out last fall, I wish I could have paid for more vet care, I wish, I wish I wish.

Doodles had a dental, ear flush and groom and is adoptable. She is making friends with other golden oldies at the rescue. She will have some shot at a decent retirement. I've been trying to get a hold of BIL all day with no return phone call. SIL is catatonic on pain pills.

To avoid the drama, BIL/SIL are being told Filbert died from kidney failure. Not a lie but to blame them for neglect is to admit I allowed their dog to die, even if it was to release him from the pain they ignored. I can't do that, not when every day I get a text from my MIL saying how wonderfully less stressful it is to have the dogs in a good place but not their place. I can't. S has offered to take full responsibility but it's not even worth it. Better, in this instance, to leave details out than to confront them about the pain they created.

So here's to Filbert, who was a very good dog, would help you eat anything you had, curl up in your lap as long as your hand was on him and lick your face clean. Run free buddy. You deserved a hell of a lot better and I'm sorry I couldn't do more sooner.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby JudyL » Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:52 pm

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Ashley. Don't beat yourself up for this, please. You didn't give up on getting them out of their situation, and if you'd pushed harder last year, you may have pushed the BIL/SIL to the point that you'd never have succeeded. You had to work within the family dynamic, you kept trying to help, and in the end you really did. You got Doodles out while she has a chance at a better life, and you released poor little Filbert from his misery.

Filbert, there are people that cared about you, just not the people you lived with for far too long. RIP little guy.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby UpwardDog » Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:21 pm

I am so sorry, Ashley. Poor little Filbert. I am so so glad you got them out-- for all concerned. ((big hug))

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby maxs_mommy » Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:30 pm

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby Calypso » Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:06 am

I'm so sorry. I hope it doesn't sound callous, but better he was freed from his pain with people in rescue than to die slowly with the in-laws. I'm terribly sorry it happened, but it was ultimately better. Best of luck to Doodles. Your did the best you could, and it is good, under bad circumstances.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby SherriA » Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:13 am

Oh Ashley, I'm so very sorry it came to that. You did everything right. Please don't beat yourself up. And thanks to you, Doodles will have a much better life. Hold on to that, if you can.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby MaisyPancakes » Sat Apr 02, 2016 7:09 am

I am so sorry, Ashley. You are amazing. You did everything you could, and Filbert knew he was loved and released in the end, all thanks to you. Love to you, my friend.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby emmas_mom » Sat Apr 02, 2016 5:23 pm

I'm so sorry, Ashley. I'm am glad you persevered and were able to get him out so he could have a gentle passing among people who cared rather than suffering a slow and painful death where he had been. You have tried so hard to improve his situation for so long - you did everything you could, and there is no shame in that. As for Doodles, this is the first week of her new life, and oh what a good life she will now have!
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby Sabine » Mon Apr 04, 2016 10:48 am

I'm so sorry, Ashley. :( It looks like you and S were the only ones who cared. And you did the right thing. Hugs.
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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby Amanda » Mon Apr 04, 2016 8:09 pm

Such a sad story for those guys, but they are out and Filbert is forever pain free now. You did all you could and it was the kindest decision to let him go. Bless you for helping them get free from their neglectful treatment. I hope Doodles improves.

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Re: Dog surrender process

Postby Jen » Mon Apr 04, 2016 8:32 pm

I'm so sorry. Filbert is no longer suffering, and you did the right thing by him. You can only do what you can do. Fingers crossed for Doodles getting a perfect home.


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