I think it's time

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Claire
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I think it's time

Postby Claire » Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:50 am

Just posted this on FB. Forgive me for cut/paste.

I think it's time to say goodbye to my Sophie.
I'm getting ready to call the vet who travels to homes and who put Rudi to sleep here.

We each got 1 hour of sleep last nite and the rest of the time was her pacing and me bringing her in and out. She hasn't peed since 12:30 a.m., is refusing water and food, and is SO week her hind paws are knucking and legs dragging. At first I was hopeful it was just because she didn't sleep at all (I'm dragging, too), but with refusing FOOD (imagine, Sophie refusing food!!), I think her system is closing down.

I can hardly take a breath I've been sobbing so much. This is going to be especially difficult for us. Please say a prayer for Sophie.
Hank has a CT scan tomorrow afternoon, so I hope the vet can come in the morning. We need to get into NYC on Friday to see how HIS liver tumor is doing.
Sophie and daddy with the same kind of liver...... Can I ask for another prayer for Hank, too?

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Re: I think it's time

Postby SherriA » Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:56 am

Oh Claire, I'm so sorry to read this. It does sound like Sophie is ready to go, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm grateful that you had several extra months with her, though it's never long enough.

Sending thoughts of comfort and peace to all of you. Good vibes for a peaceful transition, and good results for Hank as well. So much on your plate right now!
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Re: I think it's time

Postby my2cotons » Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:27 am

:( Oh Claire, I'm so sad for you. I wish all this wasn't happening to you guys. I will definitely be praying for the 3 of you. ((((hugs)))).

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Amanda » Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:35 am

I'm so sorry Claire. I pray for peace and comfort for all of you at this time. And I pray that Hank's results are great. I'll be thinking of you.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Calypso » Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:44 am

Prayers for all 3 of you! I just realized last night that I can't fathom life without Cousteau and I know this transition will be equally difficult for you. My heart goes out to you.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby PaulaS » Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:01 am

I already posted on FB, but didn't know about Hank's test, too. So I'll add more thoughts and prayers for him, too. I know this is just heartbreaking for you, I can't imagine. :( Kisses and hugs to Sophie.
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Re: I think it's time

Postby maxs_mommy » Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:35 am

So sorry for you all. It's never easy. You are in my thoughts.
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Re: I think it's time

Postby emmas_mom » Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:36 am

Claire, my thoughts and prayers are with you, Sophie and Hank at this very difficult time.
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Re: I think it's time

Postby Sabine » Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:50 am

I'm so sad to read this. Lots of good thoughts for Sophie, may it just be another bump in the road and not the end just yet. *hugs*
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Re: I think it's time

Postby RobinS » Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:00 pm

I am so sorry......so many rough times for you. Will be thinking of you and will light a candle tonight to help your sweet girl find her way to the bridge.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby PofiMia » Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:18 pm

It's only because they bring us so much joy that we sign up for this eventuality - try to concentrate on how much happiness you all have had together. But also know, my heart is breaking for you...


Good thoughts for you all - and extra good thoughts for Hank, his liver and results of scan.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby whiteboxerboy » Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:40 pm

awww, Claire. :sad:
i posted on FB too but wanted to let you know i'm thinking about you guys. wishing you peace and comfort during such a heartbreaking, difficult time. what a wondeful life Sophie has had with you and Hank. i know she'd stay with you forever if she could.

they leave us much too soon.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby connie » Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:53 pm

I'm very sorry. What a hard time to go through. I hope that Sophie finds peaceful rest, and we have all paws crossed here for good results on Hank's test.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby JudyL » Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:25 pm

I'm very sorry, Claire. It's always such a difficult decision and hard to let them go, but I'll be hoping Sophie has an easy passing and will be a peace. I'm sending calming thoughts and good wishes for Hank's test and that the results are good news.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Jen » Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:33 pm

I'm so very sorry, Claire. It's never a good time to say goodbye, but I imagine this is so much more stressful and emotional on top d Hank's appointment. I'll pay for as smooth a day as possible and good news from Hank's doctors!

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Claire » Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:25 pm

Thank you all so very much.
You know that nagging feeling after THE appointment is made and then things look up? Well, here we are. She definitely is walking around again, but other times she can't control the back legs and this p.m. they downright crossed and wouldn't hold her up. She's alert and picked up her head and body to trot to the kitchen this afternoon when I decorated cupcakes for a dog event tomorrow. But even though they were her favorite flavor, she had absolutely no interest in eating one. Same thing tonite with a piece of bread from Hank's plate. It's heartwrenching to see her go into the room where her water and food bowls are and just sit and stare .... almost like she's thinking she knows she should be in there for some reason but she can't quite figure out what it is. She DID finally tonite take a couple sips of water, but that's a first for today. Then I thought maybe I should call our regular vet and see if increasing the Prednesone is what would be needed, but that would only help spur the appetite and maybe fend off the tumor growth for a bit. She still has problems with the hind legs, and she still is weighty, despite the weight she's lost. I got a Bottoms Up leash a couple weeks ago, but even that isn't helping to place her feet flat when she walks.

She's just not the same old Sophie-dophie, and THAT, my friends, is a big determining factor. I think the liver toxins are going to her brain (I recognize some of the signs from when I went thru this with Frieda). Yes, I think calling it off tomorrow would only delay the inevitable.
I have bought her 5 wonderful months. I am truly happy about that.

This downturn was literally overnight. Poor Sophie. I still am praying that maybe she'll just stop breathing overnite and spare me the decision. But from the way she is acting now, I don't think that will likely happen. Right to the end, Sophie is not going to make things easy for me. :-) Heck, I'm going to miss that.
My eyes, neck, chest muscles are sore from crying and I haven't even been through tomorrow yet. But, then, you all know what it's like.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby UpwardDog » Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:50 pm

Prayers and thoughts for all of you.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Bari » Tue Aug 07, 2012 8:03 pm

Claire, Hank and Sophie,

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Last edited by Bari on Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I think it's time

Postby Moemer » Tue Aug 07, 2012 8:27 pm

ouch ouch it will never hurt any less. I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope she passes easily tomorrow. my thoughts are with you.
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Re: I think it's time

Postby QBert » Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:18 pm

I'm so, so sorry. You gave her a good run, Claire. This is the hardest gift you'll ever give her.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Claire » Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:33 pm

Gosh....
tonite she's walking around and DRINKING!
She just threw up two piles of old food and I'm wondering if THIS is why she didn't want to eat.
Whatever will I do if she eats tomorrow?
Her hind legs still give out and she can't get up when that happens. Is this reason enough to PTS?

I don't want to never forgive myself for not giving her another chance.

I guess the vet will decide.

It's just a matter of time anyway..... I keep telling myself.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby JudyL » Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:54 pm

Oh, what a roller coaster. Next she'll probably look at you like she's hungry and why you haven't fed her!

I hope you all can get some sleep tonight.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Kathleen » Wed Aug 08, 2012 6:06 am

First I am so sorry Claire.
You love Sophie so muchand no one has her best interest at heart more then you. You will make the right decision for her now.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby EllaBella » Wed Aug 08, 2012 7:07 am

I am so sorry. I know what you mean about the ups and downs and is it the right time, it is so hard to know for sure. You know her best and will do what is right for her.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Claire » Wed Aug 08, 2012 7:23 am

I slept near her last nite and other than getting up to DRINK 3 times, she rested comfortably, and so did I. But this morning, she refused any kind of food, even the Cheerios she usually begs for from Hank's bowl. She has thrown up another 3 times after drinking. Bright green the first time with all the grass she ate yesterday, but now it's just yellow bile. She took the deck steps on her own and her legs are stable, but her mind isn't. She just sits and stares and is definitely disconnected from this world.

I am at peace that this is the right decision to be making for her at this time.

Hank won't be here, since he must leave for his appointment before the vet arrives. But he'll have time to say his goodbyes to his girl. He's been amazingly strong in talking about "life and death". This tugs at my heart because I feel he's not only talking about Sophie's life and death.......

The sun is out today, just like the day Rudi crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. The gods are smiling down. I keep telling Sophie that soon she'll be running like the wind again and chasing Rudi. Now I have to warn HIM! :-)

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Re: I think it's time

Postby UpwardDog » Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:09 am

Oh I wish I had words that could comfort you but I just have tears. I don't want you to lose your girl but it sounds like you are right that it is time dammit all. I have tears thinking of Hank leaving to his appointment. Sending every ODO strength vibe to get through the day and for good news for Hank.
Run to Rudi Sophie and eat and run and play at the bridge.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby PaulaS » Wed Aug 08, 2012 10:41 am

Thinking of you, Sophie and Hank right now.
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Re: I think it's time

Postby RobinS » Wed Aug 08, 2012 11:01 am

I am sitting here with tears rolling down my face and wishing I could give you a hug. I lit a candle last night for your sweet girl and will do so again tonight. It will be a joyous reunion at the Rainbow Bridge, but a difficult day for you and I am so sorry for that. You did everything humanly possible, so don't let any guilt creep in. You are an amazing Mom to your sweet girl and this will be your last act of selflessness and ultimate kindness to her - for that I commend you for loving her that much.

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Re: I think it's time

Postby JudyL » Wed Aug 08, 2012 11:32 am

Thinking of you today, Claire. :(

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Re: I think it's time

Postby Claire » Wed Aug 08, 2012 11:53 am

Thank you all so very much. The vet just left. Sophie was on her feet and walking around, so when the time came, we put her on the sofa and the vet commented that she felt her stomach was distended, so suspected fluid build-up. Yes, the time was right.
Sophie was a good girl to the end.... she relaxed quickly with no yelp from that injection, and I could hear her gentle breathing till the next injection took effect.
Head between paws, just like she was sleeping.
Run to Rudi, Sophie! I already alerted him to watch out, Sophie's coming! (She loved chasing him!)
How I loved her.


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